What: It's time again for the most arduous and tricksome trail of the year- The 6th Anal Ballbuster Turducken Trail! As you all know, this trail will be long. Really long, full of terrible marks, void of all booze and merriment; Southern Baptist wedding's ain't got shit on this thing. However, we will be feeding you that most delicious and unholy of fowl, turducken!
When: Saturday December 3rd, 2016 @1200EDT
Where: Sligo Pub, Davis Square;237 Elm St, Somerville, MA 02144
Hares: +2 Coonass, and Marbleous Asshole
Bring: ID, money for use at pubs (all locations but Sligo will accept cards, but cash is always easiest), a lack of dignity and restraint, probably some kind of bear mace.
What: Boston Ballbuster H4 trail #69 Heeeeyooo!
When: Saturday, November 27th at 10.30AM
Where: Paul Revere Park, the dog park north of TD garden.
Hare: Swedish Eagle
Bag car: Yes Please
Hash Cash: Bring your left over turkey flavored beer and stuffing nips! Hash cash for this trail is $5 as some special treats will be found on trail.
The 69th trail! I REPEAT: THE 69TH TRAIL! Does anything else even need to be said?
Well just come out and run off all that extra stuffing you acquired on thanksgiving during some uphill, downhill and sidehill running through any urban shiggy that the hare can find.
When: Saturday, October 22nd, 2016 @1030HST
Hare: Señor Cocksucker
Bag Car: Sweagle and Little Black C*ck in my Pocket
What:This will be a cajun trail ( I believe the first cajun ballbuster trail). What does this mean? Every mark is a check (sorry/not sorry). However, unlike some of you r*cists, I don't believe in 15+ mile trails. In typical fashion, trail will be just slightly over the minimum mileage requirement and there will be more than three but less than five BCs, not including on-in (you're welcome).
Where: Pine Banks Park, Pine Banks Road, Malden (Orange Line-closest T)
How much: $3.00
Promises: A cajun trail. Multiple beer checks. A slight death march. Ponds. Electricity. A-B Trail (we will shuttle you back to start). Dogs. Horses. Rugby Players. The 'Burbs.
Bring: Drinking vessel, favorite 6 pack (or 12 pack), dry socks.
When: Saturday, September 17, 2016 @ 1100EDT. (hares away at 1130EDT)
What: Trail #67, out in the midwest, along the Oregon trail
Hare: Too Short to Tuck
Where: Framingham, MA - Go West till you spot bigfoot, but not so far that you fall off of the edge of the world. Contact Shorty via email (Gmail) for the specific address (rmiller1976 at)
Promises and Lies: None. The hare does not want to be constrained by responsibilities and obligations.
Bring: $3, some tasty beers of your choice, bigfoot condoms, hobo perfume, a wildly optimistic world view, and a refusal to think about the ennui.
What: Brewery Buster Trail!
Where: Start will be marked from Broadway T on the Redline.
Googlemaps Link here
When: Saturday, 8/20 10:30HST
Who: +2 Coonass, Wikipedophilia
Bag Car: Not Dead Yet
How much: $3 for prelube (beer mosas!) and circle beer/orange food, it's advised to bring money on trail for the beer stops.
When: July 15, 2016 - Sometime a few days later
Where: You'll Find Out (it was Martha's Vineyard)
Hare: Orgasm Famine
WHAT?? What, indeed.
What: Boston Ballbuster H4 trail #64
When: Saturday, June 18th at 10.30AM
Where: Goose Poop Park
Hares: Blondie McFucksalot, PTSDouble-D, +2 Coonass
Bag Car: Hopefully! Could be you? (whom amongst you is injured?)
Hash Cash: BYO6-pack & $3
Lies, Politics, and other misbehavin': A poorly marked trail with no features. Entirely death marches, zero beer checks, negative tit checks, and all CB?s. ...There may be some drankin'. Mebbe.
Hare(s): No idea!
This is a place-marker so that we don't lose count of trails. Update the website with your trail data, people!
Hare: Swedish Eagle
Holy shit, we had a runner's option for a fatboy, and it was 6.9 miles.
What: Boston Ballbuster H4 trail #61
When: Saturday, March 19th at 10.30AM
Where: Small park next to Winchester commuter rail stop.
Hare: Swedish Eagle
Bag car: I hope so
Hash Cash: BYO6-pack & $3 (Hash cash will be raised to $3 on standard because bananas, granola bars and beermosas definitely cost more than $10)
Downhills! , Uphills! Shiggy, non-shaggy, trail, pavement, nice neighborhoods, orange food, yellow food, brown food and a jolly good time!
Front runner should get about 10-11 miles, lazy wankers can get around with a bit less.